A fickle thing
It comes and goes
But always shows
With your actions
And reactions
Time heals
As your heart peels
It flares at first
A growing thirst
Parching your throat
Like sand around a boat
Water doesn't quench it
Theres a wrench in it
The feeling fades
As quick as shades
Numbness overcoming
There is no returning
And all of this is
Jealousy
Your heart races
The game is on
You have to win you're so close
He notices you
Your opponent lurching forward towards the goal
Jumping you launch after him
It's a race for the toll
Edging closer and closer
You seem to go slower
With a buzz you see him hit
He's won this round
You stand up and laugh
Yelling aloud
He laughs in triumph
You're having such fun
Flowers slowly begin to bloom
Turning the wind into a sweet ballad
As pollen scatters
The cloud swirls
Dancing with the breeze
Fingers seeming to form
Grasping at the beauty of the world
It twirls to and fro
Gleefully leaping across the field
Hands reaching up into the sky
Until with a flash it's gone
Beauty
Smiles
Easily done
Barely ever painful
And yet contagious
Spreading from face to face
Easily permeating through others
Many things make them
The warm embrace of another
Receiving something that you want
Completing a project that needed to be done
Complements from your peers for your good work
And many other things
They warm the soul
Even while you sit and frown
You can't help but smile back at them
They force there way inside of your heart
And bloom within
They are beautiful things
Smiles
Something
It burns within us all
Some it warms
Filling them with hope and dreams
others it tempers
turning them as hard as steel
It starts as an ember
Slowly growing within our hearts
Turning the wheel
Pushing us forward along the road
It moves us
Even when some things go wrong
And as we grow
It changes its shape repeatedly
Twisting and turning
Folding and molding itself within
It burns differently
As all of our experiences rush through
Finally it hardens
It's shape solidified within our hearts
Answering questions
Which we always asked ourselves
It holds
Against question and time
Until the end...
This thing
This burn
Swelling
It doesn't stop
It fills you up to the brim
And even further
You start to cry
It's odd
Your happy not sad
She looks at you
She's crying too
Something stirs
As you kiss
Happiness..
An odd feeling
Fluttering chest
Tingling feet
Breathe that seems to last forever
Smelling her hair
That's one kind,
Holding her close,
Just another
The warmth of her body,
Snuggled close to your chest.
Something stirring within you that doesn't stop,
Even when you both fight..
It only ends up growing..
That's happiness
Depression,
It's a dark thing,
Barely clinging to the edges of your vision,
Yet destroying you at the very core,
Somehow that sadness eats through all of your barriers,
Tearing something from you that is so important,
Once that thing is gone it continues,
It beats itself against all of your ties,
Testing there limits,
Until finally they break,
And under the stress,
You break as well.
He hates himself,
Everything he does,
It all tears him up,
His eyes bleed black tears,
They mean nothing,
Just a facade to cover the hate,
Cover the sadness the steadily grows every day,
Swallowing all of the light that tries to come close,
Eating at his very soul as it tares at those he loves,
Consuming them as well within his black void,
He hates it,
But he cannot turn away from himself.
Detrimental feelings flood through my arms and legs,
Shaking in fear as my gaze is locked on the face of death himself,
The end draws closers as burning flames engulf my arms... I scream..
Blissful awakening as I jerk upright, sweaty limbs trembling,
Flashes of the horrible face hazily begin to fade as I awaken fully,
The clock ticks in the corner as I wait in silence, afraid to hear my own voice,
The face was my own, twisted and vicious... it was a face I had seen before...
Living body
Living soul
Gentle breeze
Over sky and sea
Honeysuckle grows
As insects flow
Running Through the forest
In everlasting Glee
As the sun begins to set
The moon slowly rises
Night falls
Life continues
Sleeping Body
Living Soul
Death of the soul
Death of the mind
Our souls are foul
in all of our kind
As we slowly die
Our souls don't fly
The life behind us
Begins to taunt us
As we begin to realize
Our lives have dematerialized
We panic and grope blindly
As the devil laughs silently
God looks down in pity
Seeing the souls of so many
We are the unloving men
Cold,
So numb,
This must be a dream,
The sky's are to bright,
My chest is to tight,
What's going on,
My mind is ablaze,
People are leaving,
They all turn away,
My hands are shaking,
This can't be real,
My body starts quaking,
I still can't feel,
Darkness slowly falls,
A lid on the coffin,
It must be a dream,
But I am awake.
The pieces slowly fall,
It's like they were never set in stone,
They drop so easily to the floor,
Each tearing another hole in my heart,
It hurts,
The pain overwhelms,
Why won't it stop,
They won't let it stop,
Please god,
I can't take this,
I've shattered.
Lies
It's all he can do
Pulling the strings of those he loves
Making them dance to his own gain
Does he realize what he's doing?
Of course
Deep within his heart he laughs
A cruel malicious laugh,
As the rest of his heart cries
He slowly dies alone
He's lost his love
She's realized it all
She leaves without a word.
He hates himself,
Everything he does,
It all tears him up,
His eyes bleed black tears,
They mean nothing,
Just a facade to cover the hate,
Cover the sadness the steadily grows every day,
Swallowing all of the light that tries to come close,
Eating at his very soul as it tares at those he loves,
Consuming them as well within his black void,
He hates it,
But he cannot turn away from himself.
Depression,
It's a dark thing,
Barely clinging to the edges of your vision,
Yet destroying you at the very core,
Somehow that sadness eats through all of your barriers,
Tearing something from you that is so important,
Once that thing is gone it continues,
It beats itself against all of your ties,
Testing there limits,
Until finally they break,
And under the stress,
You break as well.
Happiness..
An odd feeling
Fluttering chest
Tingling feet
Breathe that seems to last forever
Smelling her hair
That's one kind,
Holding her close,
Just another
The warmth of her body,
Snuggled close to your chest.
Something stirring within you that doesn't stop,
Even when you both fight..
It only ends up growing..
That's happiness
Current Residence: The Great Utopia! Wait .... Indiana.. VV deviantWEAR sizing preference: XL Favourite genre of music: Everything but Country and Rap, well, most rap at least.. Operating System: Windows 7 MP3 player of choice: Inspire 4g Shell of choice: .50 cal? Skin of choice: Scales ^,_,^ Favourite cartoon character: Ummm.... o-o I don't know.. Personal Quote: ...o-o!
Favourite Visual Artist
To many to list
Favourite Movies
To many to list
Favourite Bands / Musical Artists
To many to list
Favourite Books
Dragon riders of pern series, Inheritence series, Wheel of Time series
Favourite Games
This list is way to long.....
Favourite Gaming Platform
XBox 360/PC
Tools of the Trade
Pencils, Microsoft Word, Paper
Other Interests
Paintball, lots of other things, I enjoy trying out new shtuff
So... I just looked over my first journal entry and man is it a bit of a depressing pile of poop! D: It makes me depressed thinking about how depressed I was when I wrote that and that's pretty bad... but oh well. For now I guess I should get started with the next one. *nods* Yep so here..... we.... go!
First off I've been spending a hell of a lot more time with my friends here as of late, I.e. going to the movies every Friday and just hanging out in general. It's done wonders for me and probably helped break me of the stupidity that was my depression. That and I got to see The Dark Knight, which btw, fyi, if you didn't know, is probabl
Yea... so this is my first journal entry... I don't really know why I felt like doing one of these but right now just felt like the right time. My life is at a point where I will either fall into something less then livable, or rise above all that I have created with my choices. It seems to go either way with me. One day I'll wake up and be chipper and ready for everything... the next I just want to sit on my computer all day becoming a zombie to everything that I do on here. From an outside point of view I would have to say some would call me crazy but, well.. I've known that for a while now! ^^
Ummm.... lets see stuff that's been happe